Before I ever successfully quit smoking, I used to set myself up for failure all the time with it.
What I would do is to find someone else–typically a friend or acquaintance of mine–and convince them to quit smoking with me, via the buddy system.
This was a terrible strategy and never worked at all. In fact, I think I became somewhat addicted to the strategy itself, because it allowed me to feel like I was making progress towards quitting (even though I wasn’t) and at the same time I had the perfect excuse to relapse.
Really what I was doing was picking a quitting buddy who really did not have the heart set on quitting. Of course I did not either at the time and therefore when one of us would inevitably smoke on the first or second day of the quit then it “gave permission” to the other person to do the same.
There is also a fellowship based on the 12 step program called Nicotine Anonymous and this is very similar to using a “quitting buddy.” Essentially you are using support from other quitters in order to help you stay nicotine free.
What I finally learned in the end when I quit smoking successfully over 3 years ago is that quitting smoking is a solitary journey. When you quit, you quit alone. That’s all there is to it. This is the best way to quit smoking as relying on others just creates another dependency.
And that is the way you should want it. If you tie your success to other people or even to a fellowship of other people then you are at the mercy of their success as well.
When you quit you must quit for yourself alone. Do not do it for anyone else. Don’t do it for your spouse or for your kids. Do it for you. It is easy to listen to this idea and to pay lip service to it but when you fully internalize that you are going to quit smoking for yourself, then you are on the path to success.
