I quit smoking, but it wasn’t easy. In fact, I struggled quite a bit giving up my old companion, the one who was there every time I felt stressed and needed calming. My cigarettes were familiar and always at hand. When I ran out, the panic of not having that comfort nearby sent me to 24-hour corner stores in the dead of the night frantic, sometimes still in my pajamas. I poured thousands of dollars into the habit before I decided that I wanted to quit smoking. I even used some of my daughter’s piggy bank money. In fact, I used most of the money that would see her through college to support my habit.
All of my friends and family had quit smoking. As I looked at them, I felt isolated and realized I was the last smoker I knew personally. As a result, I quit smoking too. I saw other smokers pass by me on the sidewalks, but the majority of people I encountered were non-smokers. I felt increasingly more isolated from the world because of my smoking habit. Eventually, I quit smoking, too.
Speaking of uncomfortable, I made honest efforts to stop smoking. I tried to find little ways to compensate for my damaging addiction and avoid making others pay because I couldn’t kick the habit. Truthfully, I liked smoking: I smoked outside, even when it was freezing rain and the wind was brutal. I smoked when my kids wouldn’t see me, so as not to be a poor role model. I even talked to my kids about why smoking was terrible and something they shouldn’t do. Strange how after those speeches, I always needed to have a cigarette.
I quit smoking initially for my kids, not for myself. I still miss the act of smoking and sometimes wish I could have a cigarette. The thought is constantly with me, that just one wouldn’t hurt and that longing to inhale. When I pass someone on the street who has a lit cigarette, I envy that person, even though he’s going to kill himself and die before me because he smokes and I don’t.
That’s the reason I quit smoking: I don’t want to die and leave my kids without a mother. It may be too late. My lungs may already harbor cancerous cells that are slowly growing, without me even noticing. But I feel better knowing I’m trying to reverse the damage because I don’t want my children to watch me get so sick that my hair falls out and I’m covered with tubes. I have a friend who has cancer, and she looks like that. I quit smoking because her kids, two and six, don’t understand why their mother is too sick to play or too tired to read a story.
Every smoker has their individual reasons to stop. I quit smoking because of my children. If you want to quit smoking, write down your reasons for your decision. Keep those reasons with you at all times and stop smoking today. With the help of a doctor and your loved ones, you can find ways to quit smoking and overcome the bad habit. Find many resources to stop smoking for good…before it’s too late.
